‘BioHell’ – Andy Remic (Solaris)

It only seems like yesterday that I was talking about how much I love reading about (and watching) zombies. Hang on, it was only yesterday! ;o) I could go over it again but the nicest thing I can do here is to point you to the post below this one (I’ll wait while you read it)...
You’re back? Great! Every so often something will slip under my ‘zombie radar’ but it’s never long until I find out about it. A friend of mine told me about a book that had ‘techno zombies’ in it and I knew that I had to have a look. The book in question was ‘Biohell’ and it took up most of a weekend that was all about reading books. In a strange twist of fate though it was the book that I ended up enjoying the least. Let me try and explain...

“How the hell did zombies learn to drive tanks?”

If you’ve read Brian Keene’s ‘Rising’ books then you’ll know all about zombies in tanks; the residents of ‘The City’ (a planet with a particularly apt name seeing as it’s covered in buildings) don’t though, they’re too busy injecting themselves with nano-bots and getting the latest ‘human upgrade’. None of these upgrades were meant to turn people into pistol packing zombies but that’s just what’s happened... What’s going on? It’s down to the Combat K Squad to find out this, and a whole lot more, once they stop popping pills and threatening to kill each other...

This review has proved to be one of the more difficult I’ve had to write as ‘BioHell’ left me feeling elated and disappointed in equal measure, like eating a McDonalds burger when I was really after a steak. Is that the book’s fault though? It’s clear that ‘BioHell’ was written with a particular audience in mind and I’m just not in that group...

‘BioHell’ is just the book for those commutes into work where you really need to wake up as you have an important meeting first thing. It’s loud, brash and so in your face that it’s actually gone right through and is stood behind you, giving you a good kicking when you least expect it. The frantic pace takes you through the plot at breakneck speed and every explosive spectacle serves to promise that the next spectacle will be even bigger... I had to strain to hear what the characters were saying as the explosions and gunfire were drowning everything out! There is a plot underneath all the action that follows on from ‘War Machine’ (the preceding ‘Combat K’ novel) but the book stands on it’s own very well, with just enough background for a new reader to pick things up very quickly.
And it has zombies in it! They may not be the ‘classic’ shambling undead (they do eat brains though which is a good thing) but their ability to utilise any weaponry they find makes for an interesting ‘zombie twist’ and adds to the suspense.

All this makes ‘BioHell’ sound like just the kind of book that I’m into (and it is, to an extent) and one that shouldn’t have left me with a strange non-plussed feeling. It did though. Like I said, I don’t think I’m the kind of person it was written for...

As far as I’m concerned, guns (and other weaponry) can generally be lumped into the ‘Gun’, ‘Bigger Gun’ or ‘HUGE Gun’ categories. Fancy names (or sets of initials) don’t do anything for me, especially if it’s for a weapon that doesn’t exist. ‘BioHell’ is littered with weaponry of this nature and I found that it really got in the way of the story itself. I wanted to find out what was happening, not be told about some gun or other!

Humour is a subjective thing and, as such, it’s probably unfair to criticise ‘BioHell’ just because I didn’t find the humour on display particularly funny. The fact is though that I didn’t find it funny and there’s nothing worse than reading a book where the jokes don’t work. It might work for you but it didn’t for me...

I also found that the endless cycle of destruction ended up working against the plot. While it would have looked great on screen, jumping from one scene of destruction to another in the book didn’t give me a lot of time (if any) to concentrate on the plot and motivation of our heroes. It’s very obviously not that kind of book but there was just enough there for me to want to find out more about the main characters and it wasn’t happening... Fans will love it but I was after a bit more...

Is it the book’s fault though if I’m after something that it has no intention of delivering? I think it was hinting at enough potential character and plot development for me to be justified in feeling put out that it didn’t deliver...

‘BioHell’ is a big blockbuster sized novel that’s full of action and excitement yet strangely empty at the same time. Fans will love it, I’m not sure if I’ll read another one. I’ve said that before though, about certain blockbuster films, and I’ve always ended up going back... :o)

Six and a Half out of Ten