‘Dr. Dale’s Zombie Dictionary’ – Dr. Dale Seslick (Allison & Busby)

Perhaps one of the most important things you will ever do, in your entire life, is to formulate your ‘Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan’. With such a plan constantly at the back of your mind, you won’t be caught short when the living dead turn up in your neighbourhood to take a bite out of the living. You’ll be safe and able to enjoy a quiet drink while everyone else is running round in circles, getting chunks torn out of them and then rising again to become just another part of the zombie scourge. I’ve got my plan all ready to roll if it all goes down (no I’m not telling you what it is, you might get there first!) If you really care about your family and friends then you owe it to them (as well as yourself) to plan for the inevitable event.

Like I said, my ‘Zombie Survival Plan’ is already all mapped out but it pays real dividends to keep reviewing what you’ve planned, just in case you’ve forgotten something or someone else’s perspective offers new insight. With this in mind, when I came across Dr. Dale’s ‘Zombie Dictionary’ I knew that I had to check it out. Having finished the book, I can quite confidently say that it could prove to be the difference between life and ‘undeath’ when there’s no more room in Hell and the dead are walking the earth...

It hasn’t happened yet (and maybe it never will, who knows) but Dr. Dale knows how important it is to be fully prepared for a full scale infestation of zombies. He wants YOU to survive (or at the very least buy his book) so he has prepared a book containing everything you need to know to get along when the dead start walking. If it’s relevant then it’s inside. If it’s irrelevant... then it’s inside! Deciding which bit is which is entirely up to you...

Every time I review a humorous book I always end up mentioning this but, as ever, it’s worth pointing out. Different things make different people laugh; humour is a really subjective thing. Admittedly, there were parts to the ‘Zombie Dictionary’ where the humour came across as somewhat forced and the joke was lost as a result. What I found more often though was that things weren’t making me laugh then it wasn’t the joke’s fault, it was more a case of it simply being something that I wouldn’t find amusing. If you’re looking for a book that will make you laugh then there was a lot here that had me chuckling. Don’t take my word for it though, read a few pages for yourself and see how much it makes you laugh.

Dr. Dale covers the basics of zombie survival very well, covering all the angles that you could reasonably expect from a book like this. Initial reactions to the zombie apocalypse, finding and maintaining a shelter as well as procuring supplies are the orders of the day. Once you’ve done this, you can then look at the kind of clothes you need to be wearing as well as what you should do if you come across a zombie. What kind of a zombie though? Dale helpfully points out that there is more than kind of zombie and it’s this level of detail that could prove to be invaluable in the post-apocalypse.

Where ‘The Zombie Dictionary’ really stood out for me though was when Dale goes off on a mad tangent and comes up with something that’s completely unexpected but still manages to make perfect sense in terms of surviving the zombie onslaught.
Take giraffes for example. I’d never factored one of these into my own plan but their height, coupled with their ability to deliver a devastating kick, make them the ideal animal to have at your side in a zombie infested landscape. Thank you Dr. Dale, you’ve made my potential post apocalyptic life that little bit easier!
It’s the same kind of thing with the ‘zombie sound track’. It had never occurred to me that dispatching zombies in a post apocalyptic landscape could be that much more fun if accompanied to music... but it is! For the record, my ‘getting ready to fight’ song would be ‘Paradise City’, my ‘fighting zombies’ song would have to be ‘Firestarter’ and my ‘celebratory’ song would be ‘Zip a Dee Doo Dah’. What? It’s a happy song! :o)

‘The Zombie Dictionary’ is full of little gems like these and even though not all of it made me laugh, the funnier moments more than made up for these. ‘Dr. Dale’s Zombie Dictionary’ is a book that you won’t regret having at your side when zombies finally appear in your neighbourhood. Any book that makes me reassess my zombie survival plan is worth getting hold of...

Nine out of Ten